The muscles of my legs and thighs spoke of my 125 beats per minute pace in all aspects of my life. My shoulders, upper back and neck groaned and crunched up from carrying so many projects and initiatives. But we all eased into the tensions and came out better for it with regards to all the ways in which I show up in movement culture in the city. The intimacy that I’m rediscovering in my physical form is allowing me to do a similar scan of the scene and I’ve noticed something across the board.

Finding freedom and liberation in naming that I cannot show up the way that folks have expected me to allows me to be seen and held without physically being held and seen. When I list out things that I need and hope to accomplish on the giant 3M posters in my room, when I color code my Google Calendar, when I take a breath to name and honor my needs by interpreting the languages of my body, mind and spirit - I am able to stay true to my name. What I've written is read with clarity and not much is left up for clarification or debate.

This feeling of wanting to show up for as many folks as possible ends when paths of instant consumption of my image, my work,  my words, or my being are blocked. Those blocks have kept me hidden from myself in a way. Because in looking at this delay in my tried and true healing modality, I realize I’ve over harvested myself.